We always tend to think of self-doubt, low confidence and a lack of assertiveness in our ability to do something as impairing factors in our lives. But we tend to overlook the fact— more so in a digital society—that ‘I’m not sure if I can do this’ emerges from a genuine lack of knowledge. Our instincts tell us to be cautious because they feel a threat; in the exact same way, they let us know when they sense a possibility of us not performing well.
Our general approach to self-doubt is to instantly think of it as negative and a hinderance in our endeavors. But is that truly what our fears are? What do psychology and research statistics say? Let us find out in this article, as we maneuver the tricky lands of the human psyche.
The General Notions about Self-Doubt
Confidence is key, they say. But we need to dig a little deeper into the concept of confidence itself to be able to conclude how it affects us and whether it is ‘key’ or not.
In the book Confidence: Overcoming Low Self-Esteem, Insecurity and Self-Doubt, Tomas Chamorro Premuzic explains, along with statistical inputs, how confidence has been overly glorified and even falsely attributed as a major success factor. In truth, however, confidence is generally only beneficial if it is backed by solid competence. A high level of confidence in one’s ability to do something means absolutely nothing if one does not truly have the said ability.
In general, social perceptions, even the various motivational speeches and self-help books claim that confidence is the driving factor in a person’s success, whether that success be in terms of career, relationships, social life, or self-development endeavors. We even find ourselves randomly commenting that if not for our social anxiety or low self-esteem, we would have been too high up in the social rungs. Such notions, misguided as they are, plague our society to such an extent that people have begun blaming their lack of success on mental health. When, in fact, mental health issues like depression and anxiety have existed possibly all throughout human history and have only been acknowledged recently.
This rise in mental health concerns and portrayals of depression and anxiety as something bad or to be rid of through medication is mainly due to the perceived need to maintain false confidence.
The Good Side of Self-Doubt
Think of all the important moments when self-doubt gripped you. And then think of what that self-doubt made you do.
Let’s take the example of a presentation. Did the self-doubt not make you prepare harder? Did it not make you hyper-focused and needing all things to be as well as they could be?
Self-esteem and low confidence are directly linked to what we think of ourselves—or, more precisely, what our subconscious thinks. When you find yourself unprepared, you will obviously feel unsure of your ability to perform. In the case of unpreparedness, doubt is highly important because otherwise, you’ll get overconfident and find yourself ultimately underperforming.
This is seen greatly among narcissistic individuals because they tend to think of themselves too highly. As the general perception goes these days, this confidence does indeed help them succeed. They will reach places they wouldn’t be able to if merit was considered solely through the power of their confident charm. But there always comes a point when their skill is tested or when they need to use the knowledge they boast of—that is when they fail.
Self-doubt as Jealousy
The simple logic being: confidence is a by-product of competence. Which makes self-doubt a by-product of incompetence.
It’s much like relationships, where jealousy exists only because one is not secure in the relationship or lacks confidence in their competence as a partner. So then, self-doubt is akin to jealousy.
Now, looking at this analogy more comprehensively, we can think of self-doubt in our lives like we think of jealousy. Jealousy is something generally not accepted and is considered ‘toxic’ much like self-doubt is considered a flaw. However, a relationship entirely devoid of jealousy is also considered boring by many, which makes one conclude that a healthy amount of jealousy is important for a relationship and denotes its flourishing nature. It is a sign of care and romantic love.
Similarly, self-doubt as a whole is not something to be promoted, and it is also not something to be entirely eradicated. A healthy and natural amount of self-doubt boosts us up and pushes us to perform better and reach our highest.
Self-doubt as an Evolutionary Tool
Feelings like jealousy, anxiousness, self-doubt, and so on are mostly instinctual and have evolutionary causes. They compel us to perceive potential threats and work to eradicate them.
When we say evolutionary or instinctive, we do not always mean ‘relevant only for the stone agers’. Evolution is a constant process and is taking place even now as you read this. All base emotions are instinctive responses—which include self-doubt and nervousness. So, when your instincts tell you you’re not prepared, chances are, you really aren’t.
This, too, is completely associated with our own personal competence and perception. Let’s take the example of an Extempore. Speaking on the spot is the actual nightmare come alive for some people. We can trace this reaction to the feeling of being unsure of their capability to be spontaneous. At the other end of the spectrum, there are also those who love Extempore and hate reading out already prepared or learned speeches. This is because they are unsure of their ability to retain information and recount it in high pressure situations.
These feelings are not flaws or hinderances, but actual and true portrayals of their knowledge of themself. One person may find themselves most confident while playing a sport, while the other might be confident during a literary debate. Doubt and confidence, in their true form, are linked to competence.
Navigating Self-Doubt
Where we go wrong
We now know that confidence is heavily dependent on and linked to competence. But this isn’t entirely new. We already knew this link existed, and it’s the reason for our constant desire to appear confident and assertive.
What we understand incorrectly is that the correlation doesn’t work both ways. Appearing—which is to say faking—confidence won’t suddenly make someone competent. Similarly, it is also necessary to note that not always will competence make you feel confident.
There is a clear distinction between competent and confident individuals and competent unconfident individuals. Those who know their skill level, are satisfied with it, and take pride in it generally tend to fall in the former category. Humility and modesty are virtues found only in competent individuals who are either unaware of their competence or who realize that their competence, no matter how high, still has a long way to go—these come in the latter category.
And as we already know, society is known to admire and hold in high esteem those who possess a modicum of modesty and low confidence.
The Best Approach
Considering all that we discussed above, the best approach would be to not run after confidence at all. Whether you are competent or not, it’s best to stay humble and more inclined to truth rather than to delusions or made-up perceptions.
Narcissists, those who think highly of themselves, are deluded in their self-perception. They, through circumstance or sheer will, have convinced themselves of their own superiority. And unsurprisingly, research conducted by psychologist Jean Twenge throughout the span of the last 75 years noted the severe rise in narcissism and overconfidence in students of USA. Narcissistic tendencies in college students rose 200 percent from the 1950s to 2010. This can be attributed to the rise of social media and the need to constantly appear ‘cool and confident’. We fake our lives and personas on social media—where it is far easier—and the validation received in the form of likes, comments and followers makes up the illusion of the existence of ‘competence’. This is how influencers and even the general social media users gain their delusional confidence.
This is corroborated by the statistics which claim that GenZ find it harder in the corporate world. All their fake confidence and narcissism makes them so delusional that they begin to blame their coworkers and managers or even the system for their simple lack of competence.
Understand Your Self-Perception
It is important, then, to understand what is causing your self-doubt. Is it a genuine lack of competence? If so, it is entirely valid and even necessary, and the solution is to become competent. There are cases when, even when we are competent, self-doubt persists, but this type of self-doubt is good and should not be considered a hinderance except when it reaches a level where it literally hinders functionality. When this happens, it’s best to dig deeper and understand what exactly is causing it, or you could just go see a therapist who would most likely do it better.
Self-Doubt as a Revelation
Think of all the times self-doubt has gripped you, and then think of all the times you were surprised by your own confidence or the times when someone very important to you needed you.
There is also a correlation between matters dear to our hearts and our confidence. We tend to lose all superficial worries and doubts when a family member is in danger or when the something in question is truly important to us. In such situations, we find ourselves on autopilot mode and acting instinctively, shedding behind all the concerns that would otherwise plague us.
Considering this as an example, we can understand how self-doubt also acts as a revelation of what is truly important to us. In most cases, you end up doing what you truly want to do without any inhibitions. So sometimes, when you find yourself worrying too much or procrastinating too much, maybe you should reconsider whether you want that thing at all.
Conclusion
Self-doubt, low confidence, and low self-esteem are common concerns among many individuals these days. The general perception of them is that they are problems to be solved. When, in fact, they are a part of humanity and exist as an evolutionary tool. A tool as it is, we need to know how best to use it, how best to sharpen it, and for what.
