Making amends with yourself can be difficult. It’s much easier to make amends with someone else. That’s why self-love is so important in a relationship. Self-love is intrinsically tied to our self-worth, so we need to feel good about who we are and what we have before we can fully give ourselves to someone else.
This blog post will show you how practicing self-love will benefit your relationships of all kinds, as well as some tips on practicing it.
1. Maintain a degree of space and independence
Setting healthy boundaries that foster a strong sense of self outside of the relationship might look like carving out alone time, having your own interests, spending time with your own friends, or being independent in a partnership.
Allowing the relationship to consume your identity and cause you to lose sight of who you are as a person is harmful. Maintain your customs, hobbies, and social circles. Care for your spirit, take time to yourself, and be alone.
2. Don’t take things personally
Don’t take everything the other person says or does as a direct attack on you. Some share everything, they think without consideration for what it might do to you, and others are unable to share their thoughts because of how it might affect you. Don’t make it personal because most of the time, it’s not about you at all.
Learn to be comfortable with silence so you can reserve comments, when necessary, but don’t feel that every moment needs to be filled with sound.”
Learn to watch your negative self-talk and not allow others to reinforce it through their words or actions.”
3. Remember, you are the master of your happiness
Don’t wait for someone else to make you happy. If you’ve agreed to share your life with another, do it because it makes you happy, not because you think the other person will make you happy. This way, neither of you will be disappointed if the other cannot fulfill that role.”
Love should be about two individuals supporting and enhancing each other’s lives.”
4. Avoid excessive contact with others who don’t support your relationship
Even if it’s family or friends who do not support your relationship and see no value in it, or have never been supportive of anything you’ve done in life, distance yourself from them if possible.
If you can, limit your exposure to people who do not support your relationship and do not see any value in it. That way, you will retain other people’s trust and maintain the support of those around you.
Suppose these people include your family. Set stricter rules on who can see them. Make a point to keep them out of their child’s life if possible.
5. See in yourself what your partner sees in you
If your partner can find something to love about you, so can you. Sometimes you have to overlook what you’d like to be and look at the qualities there, even if they are not ideal. Some people have a greater capacity for seeing the good in others than others do. That’s why it’s important to take a step back from time to time and look at yourself because sometimes we might miss what we need to see.
Look for that quality he or she finds truly special about you. Begin to see yourself through that same lens.
6. Realize there is always room for improvement in any relationship
Some people think that to respect each other. One partner must accept the other as-is. This doesn’t mean you have to condone unacceptable behavior or disregard your own needs and goals. Think of it this way: to improve anything. You first need to accept where it is now and determine what needs work. If you can’t see it for what it is now, then how do you expect to improve upon it?
Some people think a relationship can’t be better than they already have. The reality is that all relationships can always be improved upon.
Don’t try to change your partner; change yourself so the other person won’t want to change anything about you.
7. Practice giving yourself the same amount of time, attention, and energy that you give to your partner
People do not appreciate the same things simultaneously and in the same quantity as others. Always remember that no matter how much you might be willing to invest in someone, you may still feel underappreciated. It’s important to remember that giving another person the time and attention they deserve takes a lot more effort than it takes to simply meet their expectations.
Give yourself enough space to treat yourself with respect just as much as you treat your partner with respect.
8. Understand that it is never too late or too early to make changes in a relationship
No matter how long you have been with someone, there is no “too late” or “too early” to make a change. There is never a wrong time to make a change that will benefit your life and the relationship. If you have tried everything else and it’s not working, you may need to consider ending the relationship, but always keep an open mind. When changes are made, it can reinvigorate the relationship.
9. Keep your eyes on your paper instead of judging others and their choices
It’s very important to remember that what works for one person might not work for another. You may have had a string of relationships that did not end in a marriage that worked for you. Your example may be one of the few people who has succeeded in your situation by choosing someone with different views and values than you.
Don’t judge your partner’s choices or lack thereof just because you are not doing what works for them.
People can change, and their views can evolve. It doesn’t mean they are wrong, and it doesn’t mean they won’t work for another person.
10. Don’t get disheartened when you see your flaws
It’s normal to see your flaws and judge yourself. If you let this happen often, it becomes easy for you to conclude that your partner’s flaws are far from the truth. Just because someone does not believe in all of a statement does not mean they do not believe in any part of the statement.
Don’t get disheartened when you see your flaws. If you see them, great! At least it means you’re practicing looking outside of yourself.
There’s nothing more you can do to make your relationship work than what you’re doing now. So just continue to believe in your relationship, believe that the other person loves you and is willing to put in the effort to make it work, and keep giving it a shot.
If it’s not working out, don’t fret and give up; these things happen for a reason.
You should want to keep trying because at least you’re not throwing away your potential for a better life. That’s why acting as if this relationship has meaning is so important.