As humans, we love and grieve too deeply. Even fathoming about losing a loved one sends chills down my spine. When a bond so unbreakable breaks apart, it stings very harshly. Those who have been separated by death feel helpless and mournful. And those divided by rules of life feel restless and disheartened. The departure of our loved ones from our lives leaves us with emptiness and grief. The sudden life-altering change of being unable to see our favourite person forever makes us lose our minds and turns our whole world upside down. Accepting this change seems impossible. How can it not? When all that we loved has been lost. The thought of not being able to see their faces and their beautiful smiles or hear their voice call out our names is just gut-wrenching. The bond that we had meant to cherish forever no longer exists.
To find relief in knowledge and lessen your burden of pain, I would like to share my thoughts on this. The connection of love is immaterialistic; it is the connection of the souls, which is greater than anything. Every person that comes into our life has a purpose to fulfil. They come into our lives to teach us something and depart after they have served their purpose. Some come into your life as a blessing, and some are disguised as goodness to teach you a valuable lesson. But remember, the love you shared with them and their impact on your life is eternal. Similarly, you also play a part in other people’s lives; you are a villain in someone’s story and a savior in someone else’s. Your attachment to them is what saddens you the most when they leave.
When we talk about the death of a loved one, say, father, mother, spouse or friend, the love between you and your loved one is something that even death cannot alter. So, when their soul leaves the physical form, we all were fond of, the body dies, but the soul continues to live on. Like Albert Einstein said, ‘Energy can neither be created nor be destroyed; it can only be changed from one form to another.’ The law of conservation of energy is not only applicable in thermodynamics, but it also turns out to be true in real and spiritual life. The soul never dies; it continues its journey in the universe. You loved their soul, which is immortal; hence, your love is eternal, too. Take peace in knowing that they are not gone; they have just evolved, yet they live eternally in your memories of them.
“Those we love and lose are always connected by heartstrings into infinity.”
– Terri Guillemets
Going through a breakup or losing touch with someone significant to you can be incredibly painful. It can make you feel like something vital is missing, and you might feel a void in your heart. No one can feel that pain except you, and you find yourself alone in the ocean of despair, suffering with the pain of loss. I understand you might think the person was meant to stay in your life forever or that you cannot live without them. I understand your pain because I have been there, too. But dear, coming out of that depressing zone is most definitely possible. It is okay to take your time and mourn. Your emotions are valid. But it is also essential to move on before you start losing yourself and become prey for longing grief. Grief can change you forever and for the worse. It can make life feel dull, leaving you feeling anxious, irritable, impatient, lonely and depressed. It can also ruin your relationship with others as your behavior changes. You might lose interest in life, your charm, happiness, and your previous hobbies. You find yourself always grieving, dwelling over your past and reminiscing about all the good times with them. Life becomes unbearable then.
“You cannot prevent the bird of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.”
– Famous Chinese proverb
How to deal with grief and avoid the birds of sorrow from building a nest on your head:
• Firstly, do not suppress your emotions and take your time to grieve. Acknowledge and accept your loss. Feel your emotions and let it all out. Time heals everything, but you mustn’t hold onto grief or find comfort in the home of darkness. Prepare yourself mentally to move on.
• Stay in the present, and don’t dwell on your past. Divert your mind to the present and things happening now. Focus on current affairs and go with the flow. Remember, your future begins at the present, and everything will be fine.
• Talk to your family and friends and share what’s going on in your mind with them. Sharing your thoughts will make you feel better, and your close ones who care about you will provide you with emotional support and strength. You will understand that you are not alone and will regain confidence in yourself. Remember, sharing your feelings is not a sign of weakness but a step towards healing.
• One effective way to cope with grief is to pour your heart out in your diary. This is more than just writing down your feelings; it’s a form of self-expression and self-reflection. Write about every emotion you feel, every memory you think about, and even things you can’t say to anyone else. Your diary becomes a safe space to converse with yourself, helping you process your emotions and track your healing journey.
• Focus on your good memories with them and what they taught you while they were with you rather than grieving over their departure. The person who meant so much to you is still alive in your memories. Honour the things they taught you and follow their advice for your betterment. Be thankful to them and cherish good moments in your memory forever.
• Do things that make you happy. It is okay to want to feel happy. Follow your hobbies or explore new places. If cooking provides you with happiness, then cook. If reading gives you comfort, then read. Indulge in healthy methods to make yourself feel better.
• Go to therapy or seek professional help. If you are unable to deal with loss and feel like you want to give in to grief, don’t wait to visit a therapist or psychologist. They can help you understand your difficult situation and provide practical methods to move on healthily.
• Don’t be hard on yourself; trust yourself. Believe that you are strong enough to get over it. You will never stop missing or loving your loved one but have confidence that you will find the strength to deal with it and move on.
“Grief can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life’s search for love and wisdom.”
– Rumi
Final reflections
Losing our forever bond or person can break us in so many ways. And it is alright to grieve, but it is essential to understand a few things. People come and go, but memories stay forever. The death of your loved one doesn’t mean they are gone; they are still with you in this world, just in an evolved form. The departure of a person in our life we were so fond of can leave us feeling empty, but their departure meant that their purpose in your life had already been fulfilled; it was about time they left, as their path no longer intertwined with yours. Turn your grief into your strength. Remember the best times and honor the beautiful bond you shared with them.
