When you start dating someone, they become not only a part of your life but also impact your mental health. You must have been in some relationships at some point, but do all relationships help us live better lives? That is not the case, as some relationships teach you life lessons while negatively impacting your life. When a relationship turns toxic, it is critical to recognize the red flags.
What are the red flags of a bad relationship? Red flags in a relationship are signs that a person cannot have a healthy relationship and that continuing down the road together can be destructive and toxic. You can probably avoid toxic relationships if you are aware of the common red flags. Self-awareness of red flags can help you pause and reflect on the dynamic you share with someone. Now, without further ado, let’s go over the eight red flags you should be aware of in a relationship.
1. Constantly puts you down
How often has your partner said something hurtful to you and then asserted it was a joke? When a person jokes about your flaws, uses excessive sarcasm at all times, and has a mean sense of humor, they are leveraging nonconsensual power in the relationship. It can lower your self-esteem and make you feel negative around them. According to a 2013 study, emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse and can undermine your self-esteem. There is a distinction between consensual and nonconsensual roasting, as the latter can impact your mental and emotional health. If you tell your partner to stop doing this type of humor and they don’t, consider that a red flag in the relationship.
2. Anger Management Issues
When you’re in a relationship, it’s natural to have heated moments where all you want to do is bury your face in a pillow and scream. However, if someone you care about has anger management issues and you feel unsafe around them when they are angry, this can be hazardous to your overall safety. A lack of emotional intelligence and regulation is a red flag to be aware of. The violence shown to animals, loved ones, or family members is not conducive to a happy relationship. For example, if they punch the wall and break things around the house, their anger may escalate and may lead to physical abuse.
3. Controlling Behavior
A controlling partner in the relationship has deeper personal issues that can make your life a living hell. They want to know everything, from what you eat to what you wear and whom you meet, and they may also prevent you from meeting certain people or doing certain things simply because they don’t like it. People who try to control your decisions, beliefs, and moments are more concerned with themselves than with what is best for you. Attempts to control begin with minor things and then escalate, leaving you with the impression that whatever you do is incorrect. In a relationship, this will eventually make you feel controlled and suffocated.
4. Your Friends and Family don’t like them
If your friends, family, or someone close to you warns you that something is wrong with the person you’re seeing, you should listen to them and think about it. Because love can be unobservant, you may miss things that your family and friends do notice, so rather than dismissing their advice, pay attention to it. It may not appear to be a good thing at first, but remember to listen to those close to you because it could be a red flag.
5. Constant Jealousy
Jealousy is expected in a relationship, but does it mean constant jealousy is acceptable? Certainly not. It may appear that the person is being attentive to you at the start of the relationship, but there is a controlling issue beneath the attention. Simply put, what you think is attention is actually jealousy. Moving forward, jealousy is not a red flag, but the way it is handled can be. Don’t confuse love with when someone constantly checks your phone and controls whom you can talk to or not. It is not the love that will drive you crazy but it will be the jealousy.
6. Substance Abuse
If an addiction exists in a relationship, it has the potential to destroy it. Regular drinking or drinking until inebriation should be avoided because it indicates a drinking problem. Substance abuse demonstrates a person’s lack of impulse control and self-destructive tendencies. If your partner uses substances to get through the day, week, or difficult situation, this is a sign of addiction and indicates that they haven’t figured out how to cope without altering their mental state.
7. Crazy exes Story
If your partner constantly refers to their ex as insane and tells their stories in the most horrific way possible, this could be a red flag. There is no doubt that some relationships can be terrible, and thinking about them can still make you bitter, but when your partner regards all of their exes as crazy and brings up their stories again, it is clear that the problem is only in them. You should be concerned when your partner can’t even pinpoint their mistakes, which may have led to a breakup. If you continue, you may end up on that list of crazy exes.
Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation in which your partner attempts to destabilize your perceptions by denying or blaming you. It will make you doubt your judgment and sanity. The person on the receiving end may cause them to doubt their emotions and intuitions. For example, if you are upset about something and your partner tells you that you are overreacting, do not take responsibility for any actions they have taken. You should be aware of this red flag because they are attempting to control your narrative and how you think.
The list of red flags mentioned is not exhaustive; many others include narcissism, codependency, inability to resolve conflicts, and so on. Before getting into anything serious, it is always recommended that you keep an eye out for any red flags and back off if the situation becomes out of control. This will be better for your physical and emotional health.