Low self-esteem is something we all face at some point in life. We are humans, and we can’t help but feel inferior at times. Low self-esteem is related to a lot of things. If you ask me, low self-esteem and insecurities are co-related. Sometimes insecurity is what leads us to feel low of ourselves, and sometimes it is because we self-doubt so much that it leads us to feel insecure. Sounds perplexing. It is not as confusing as it sounds. Feeling either or both emotions is human nature. But nobody wishes to live with it forever; we all need to overcome feelings of self-complex to live a peaceful and happy life. So, let’s dive deeper into this topic and understand how it affects us mentally and physically and what some ways to overcome it are.
WHAT LEADS TO LOW SELF-ESTEEM? HOW TO OVERCOME IT
Low self-esteem is related to a lot of things. Often, comparing ourselves with others, watching somebody else’s achievements, and thinking we are failures for not being able to achieve the same.
Especially when we see people our age winning one milestone after another, we often get caught thinking about why we can’t do it. We often end up comparing our achievements with others. Someone is struggling to get a job while their friend is already earning a good wage. This leads to people thinking low of themselves. Some people have it all figured out while some don’t, but that doesn’t mean it makes you any less than them. Some people achieve everything at a very young age while some achieve it later in their lives, but it isn’t about the destination, it’s about the journey.
It is okay to see someone else get ahead of you; cheer them on instead of thinking you’re lesser than them. Everybody has their own path, and maybe yours is just different. Maybe someone else’s road to success can be yours to failure, so you must decide your own road. To overcome these feelings, it’s important to practice self-compassion, challenge negative thoughts, and focus on your strengths and achievements.
Another reason for low self-esteem is poor treatment from family, friends, or relationships. The kind of environment you grow up in directly affects your emotional well-being. Our parents also play a part in this. Some parents keep comparing their children starting right from school and then wonder why they have become so demotivated. Parents don’t realize that constantly comparing their children with others will make them feel less because, after all, it’s our close ones that can have the most significant impact on us. We fail to believe in us if they don’t believe in us. Motivating your children isn’t by comparing them to others but instead letting them know that it’s okay to fail sometimes and that trying is all that matters.
IS YOUR BETTER HALF EVEN BETTER FOR YOU?
Your partner is someone you seek approval from the most. When that partner fails to validate you, you feel unworthy, which results in damaged self-esteem. Your self-esteem shouldn’t wholly depend on your partner, but relationships greatly impact you. They kind of reshape your personality and behavior. The way you feel starts reflecting how they treat you. Breakups are also a major reason to feel negative feelings, and it takes time to overcome those feelings and feel positive and worthy again.
Toxic relationships also result in significant self-consciousness and insecurities; it completely breaks you inside and out. Dealing with a partner with anger issues and toxic behavior isn’t easy. Toxic partners often assure you that “it won’t happen again,” and it happens again and again and again… you should know when to let go. Toxicity can affect you in such a way and damage your self-esteem to such an extent sometimes that you end up isolating yourself. Break the cycle of toxicity no matter how much in love you are; always love yourself more to know that you don’t deserve it; you deserve better. Unhealthy relationships can cause some real trust issues. You fear what happened may happen again. Examples of toxic behavior include emotional manipulation, controlling behavior, and verbal abuse.
In some relationships, partners also criticize their significant other, thinking of it as sarcasm, not realizing it may affect their partner emotionally and make them feel like they are not beautiful or handsome enough or good enough for them. Words can have a massive impact on anyone, words can be as sharp as a knife and cause someone to bleed in the mind. That is why a dictum says, “Choose your words wisely.” it can become one of the major reasons to kill someone’s confidence and create insecurities.
Cheating in relationships is also a reason to break one’s self-esteem; it makes the person who gets cheated on feel like they weren’t good enough for their partners or could not satisfy their needs for being end up this way. But no reason justifies cheating, the problem isn’t you, it’s them. This is why it is so important to choose the right partner. How you are treated, and the environment you are surrounded in says a lot about how you act and feel. It shapes you.
DON’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU SEE ON SOCIAL MEDIA
Whatever you see on social media isn’t always accurate. We often sit in our homes, scroll Instagram from our sofas, and get jealous of perfect bodies and people enjoying their perfect lives on media, and our mind directly gets stuck in the loop of self-consciousness. “Why do I not have a glass figure like her?” “Why am I not so beautiful?” “Why do I not have a life like him?” and it is a never-ending series of questions affecting our self-esteem. What we forget is people only display the good parts of their lives on social media; nobody posts their bad sides, like crying in bed for hours, not liking what they see in the mirror, hating their lives, and facing failures. It’s important to remember that social media is a curated version of reality and not a true reflection of someone’s life.
Insecurities and jealousy go hand in hand. We see someone else having the time of their lives, we see thousands of likes and comments on someone else’s post, and someone shop from Gucci, etc., and all we can think about is why we aren’t them. We are humans, and it’s our nature to feel such emotions. We just need to know how to get over it, stop watching others’ lives so carefully, and start paying attention to your own.
Social media is a glamorous world where everyone posts for likes, comments, and views. We end up in the cycle of comparison, looking at perfect posts from our homes and ruining our mental health over things that aren’t even real. Nobody lives a perfect life; we all have our own share of flaws, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You are no less than anybody else, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
HOW TO OVERCOME LOW SELF-ESTEEM
We all go through things that sometimes leave us completely shattered – damaging our self-confidence and making us feel insecure. But we do not have to live with it forever; it’s never too late to work on yourself. Some ways to overcome low self-esteem are:
Stop comparing yourself with others. Nobody is perfect, and you are your own person.
Stop using social media if it affects you mentally. Or take a break from it until you feel confident enough not to let it bother you anymore.
Keep a journal, note your feelings down, and express everything you can’t say out loud. Trust me, it helps.
Do something that you are good at, not someone else.
Treat yourself with kindness; don’t do what others did to you.
Make yourself a priority.
Be kind to yourself, don’t encourage negative self-talk, and challenge it with positivity.
Be positive, and don’t pay attention to what others have to say; when you stop caring about others’ opinions, your life gets 2x better already.
Stay surrounded by people who bring positivity to your life, cut off those who make you feel judged, or push you down.
It is never too late to break a cycle or to start saying “NO.” You don’t need to please anyone but yourself.
CONCLUSION:
We all face lows in life, and low self-esteem is just another phase of life that comes and goes, but we decide how much we let it affect us. We all care about how we are perceived by others, but how we are perceived in our own eyes matters most. Be it family, friends, or relationships, anyone and anything that affects your mental health should be cut off from your lives. Don’t believe everything you see on social media; surround yourself with positive people. Choose better friends and a better partner to spend your life with. It is always possible to overcome low self-esteem. Treat yourself with kindness. When you are internally happy, you realize the world has no power to shake you, and life can feel good.
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