Stress is an interesting character. It is known to latch on during hard times, but sometimes, and for some individuals, it grips with great intensity even in milder situations. In a general sense, being stressed is a natural human response to certain situations that make us feel threatened—in terms of life, career, health, near ones, etc. If present in a moderate amount, stress helps us cope better. It keeps us focused on our problems and generates adrenaline.
But depending on our outlook and mental state, stress can sometimes turn from a catalyst to finding solutions into an oversized hurdle. So then, rather than the problem or situation, it is the stress caused by it that takes all our attention and focus. This not only hinders decision making but ends up making us bitter and rude to our own loved ones. It turns us into a person we never want to become.
Never fear, here we are with an article that will equip you with measures and practices that even the major stress hurdles can be dealt with.
What Stress Turns Us Into
When stress or anxiety takes hold, our body reacts in various ways. Physical and emotional symptoms can include increased heartbeat, heavy chest, closed-up throat, shaking hands or legs, rigid body, stomach/head/body pain, excessive or minimal eating habits, fatigue, etc.
There are symptoms that emerge instantly when a stressful situation arises, and those that stay and become ingrained into our everyday attitude and behavior. When stress becomes a prolonged condition, we might find ourselves getting irritated more, being rude or isolating ourselves. These emerge because our mind cannot find any other way out of our stress, and in a chokehold position, we lash out; we try to release our stress by other means. For example, one might get instigated easily and start fights and arguments or start blaming others for things that have gone wrong.
When we later think about our behavior, we realize that it is not how we want to make the people we care about feel. Stress brings out the worst in us. Lashing out does not mean that you are a terrible person or that that is who you are. But what is indeed in your hands is what you decide to do once you recognize these symptoms and reactions. None of us want to treat our loved ones badly and be uncaring towards them.
WHO published an illustrated guide titled Doing What Matters in Times of Stress, which we’ve referred to, to bring you all its wisdom and tricks in an article. The book itself is an engaging and visually interesting guide which truly understands all types of stress and helps to cope through all of them in the simplest and most comprehensive ways.
Grounding Techniques
- To get your heart rate back to normal
- To calm yourself down
- To extricate yourself from vicious overthinking
- To avoid panic and overall stress symptoms
Grounding is named so because it signifies calming down and noticing all things from a ground-level perspective. This helps your mind focus and stops its overrun with thoughts and feelings about the future or the past, which it is often prone to do. Grounding will not instantly make all your worries vanish, but it will put you in a frame of mind where you can look at those worries from a calm and composed point of view.
Whenever you find yourself drifting away from a certain moment, into the throes of past situations or future premonitions, try to bring yourself back into the moment. Most troubles arise when we spiral down the path of overthinking. What can you do to bring yourself back into the moment? Focus on the here and the now. Sometimes detachments, alienations and unhealthy behaviors arise because we are not giving the present our full attention. Following grounding techniques will help you focus.
Mindfulness
When you have lunch, do you savor each bite and notice each swallow? No? Well, what do you focus on instead?
While carrying out mundane tasks like drinking water, eating food, or doing some manual work like cleaning, bathing, etc., we often let our minds drift. This drift leads us to imagined future scenarios, replaying past experiences, or just circling back to the issue that is worrying you.
So, if you are having lunch, focus on each bite and notice the taste and texture of what you eat. All this simply to not let your mind go haywire. An easier method is to keep yourself distracted. Like watching a show while you eat, but this is not a healthy method of getting rid of overthinking. This simply gives your mind something else to focus on rather than the here and the now. It is better to focus entirely on what you are doing, no matter how boring or miniscule. Focusing on the micro details makes even the boring tasks interesting.
This is not just limited to mundane tasks but includes all situations. When you are on the stage or in a classroom about to give a presentation, you find yourself thinking about what the audience or your classmates will think of you, or what if you go wrong and mess it up? These emerge because you let open the space of your mind. Ground yourself, be mindful. Keep your attention only towards what is to be done—what you speak about during the presentation or what you act out onstage.
Breathing exercises
Inhale deeply and slowly, then exhale just as slowly. Keep your attention on the act of breathing. Feel your lungs expand and your stomach contract; notice the rise and fall of your shoulders.
This is best for instant relief when stress and anxiety suddenly surface when instigated by something, but it can also be paired with Mindfulness. Doing this will keep your mind focused on a particular task while also keeping your heart rate in check. This helps your mind when it is on the brink of losing it or when your body is going through the whole fight-or-flight mode.
The 5 Things Exercise
This exercise entails listing five things from your surroundings. Sometimes, actively making ourselves mindful does not work. We need a task to distract ourselves, but that task must also not take us anywhere outside of the here and the now.
So, the best thing to do in such a case is to list things around you.
- 5 objects you see
- 5 colors you see
- 5 sounds you hear
- 5 things you can touch
- 5 things you can taste
- 5 fragrances around you
These need not be exactly five, as it is understandable that you may not find a variety of five for each of your senses. Adjust and alter these techniques according to your surroundings and requirements.
Acknowledge your Thoughts and Emotions
It is not enough to simply not hear your stressful thoughts and feelings. These thoughts and feelings aren’t exactly wrong; they are simply unhelpful when you keep going over them again and again or over-analyzing them.
Acceptance
The first step to becoming a calmer and more composed person is understanding the things that cannot be changed. There are certain things and circumstances in life that just are, and there is nothing we can do to not make them so. If you need to, think instead of what you will do about this new development or how best you can deal with it.
Acknowledgement
Now, accepting something does not mean you must discard your feelings about it. Feelings can only be felt, never discarded. Todd’s dialogue from BoJack Horseman beautifully explains this: “The woods are dark and scary, but the only way out is through.”
Feel what you are feeling, understand why you are feeling so, and accept your reaction to the unchangeable thing as well. Accepting death is inevitable and acknowledging our sense of loss and grief need not be mutually exclusive. They can co-exist. The fact that your coffee is spilt and it cannot come back again does not mean you cannot feel annoyed at the one who spilt it. You can feel the anger building, and you can identify the source—which is not the person who spilt it but the fact that you cannot have coffee anymore. And then… you must accept the fact that fighting or scolding the person is of no use. They don’t say it’s useless to cry over spilt coffee for no reason.
Take it Easy
We understand that these things are easier said than done. But just because something is hard to do doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. Take it up as a challenge. Make the thought spirals your target, the target that you need to get rid of. Employ these and your own techniques. The exercises described above will work anywhere and will calm you within 30 seconds to 3 minutes of doing them.
If you find yourself falling into the pit of cyclic thoughts, notice it and begin the exercise anew. It will take multiple tries, it won’t work the first, second or the third time. When your mind has become accustomed to something, it can be hard for it to let go. But it isn’t impossible. Prove it to yourself that no matter how many times you fail, you will get back up again. Stay connected to the here and the now, be more self-compassionate and understand your feelings and thoughts. Don’t let your mind stress out too easily, relax and deal with things with a calm and composed mind.
Conclusion
Stress can manifest itself in various ways. The symptoms can be physical, mental, emotional, and even habitual. It is most fueled by the cyclical process of overthinking and the fears and regrets of our future and past that haunt us.
The best way out is to accept that the past cannot be changed; the future is yet to come and can be dealt with when it arrives. What is most precious and where we hold the power to act and change is the present.
Happy Grounding!
